Wow! Playing for Manchester! That is a great adventure. (I must admit, though, that here at my school, we have a lot of Barcelona fans. Please don’t hate me!) I liked how you created suspense by breaking down the action:
The ball came to me. I had a chance. I shot goal! Now I play for Manunited. Best day ever!
(I did add some periods to show the reader where to pause after a complete thought.)
Keep up the great writing, and keep playing football!
Ms. Rainey
from Sunny California
Wow! Playing for Manchester! That is a great adventure. (I must admit, though, that here at my school, we have a lot of Barcelona fans. Please don’t hate me!) I liked how you created suspense by breaking down the action:
The ball came to me. I had a chance. I shot goal! Now I play for Manunited. Best day ever!
(I did add some periods to show the reader where to pause after a complete thought.)
Keep up the great writing, and keep playing football!
Ms. Rainey
from Sunny California