A great opening sentence as it set the scene for your story. I liked your use of verbs such as ‘muttered’, ‘shouted’ and ‘sighed’ as they described the actions so well.
I also liked your use of adverbs such as ‘annoyingly’ and ‘viciously’ as they help create a picture for the reader.
For improvement you should always check your writing before you post it for spelling and typing errors and you have a few here. Some of your errors make it a bit confusing for the reader, especially at the end of your story.
A great opening sentence as it set the scene for your story. I liked your use of verbs such as ‘muttered’, ‘shouted’ and ‘sighed’ as they described the actions so well.
I also liked your use of adverbs such as ‘annoyingly’ and ‘viciously’ as they help create a picture for the reader.
For improvement you should always check your writing before you post it for spelling and typing errors and you have a few here. Some of your errors make it a bit confusing for the reader, especially at the end of your story.
Keep on writing.
Hello.
Good job,
Keep up the good work